Then we went to a wedding on June 27th and everything changed. The first change that I noticed was that he was holding on really tight to me when we took the group family picture. Then he started complaining that his food wasn't quite right and he felt funny. Then he wouldn't go back into the reception. Then he thought that he had been poisoned by his cousin. Then we were driving home and he told me all about this guy at work that wanted to kill him because he saw a drug deal. Then he told me we had to leave the house, that it was no longer safe. Then then then . . .
In the next few weeks, I received a crash course in Paranoid Schizophrenia that no 22 year old should have received. I also learned all about dual diagnosis as he began drinking as a way of coping with his illness. I also learned that when schizophrenic psychos are watching TV, you can never really be sure what they are seeing and that it is better to leave it off, unless you want to replace it.
One thing that I did along the way was to change my major to marketing. I was already working in the field and I needed to get done with school asap so that I could get a real job to make up for all of his missed time. This was the only time in my life that I had ever really settled and took the easy way out.
Today, he is gone. Today I am finishing up my MSW and know that specifically I want to work with dual diagnosis clients. Today I live up north in that small cottage. It's nice and quiet and easy to maintain and my son can enjoy playing in the creek, chasing the deer and catching the frogs. Today, we are good.
How did all this goodness happen-only by the grace of God.
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